


i'm only human

by bowlingfornerds



Series: tumblr prompts [7]
Category: The 100
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Murder, PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 01:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowlingfornerds/pseuds/bowlingfornerds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a tumblr prompt by sergeantfilm: Monty goes to visit his best friend in mental hospital.</p><p>All from Monty's point of view, going to visit Jasper in hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm only human

**Author's Note:**

> I had been toying around with the idea of not writing this, because I don't know how to write mental illnesses very well. My mind isn't a good enough example to use, because it's not too severe, so I did do a load of research before writing, and I refused to write it from Jasper's perspective, because I don't want to get it wrong.  
> So, I do know some people with depression, anxiety etc., but I've never really asked them what it's like. All of my information, inspiration and intelligence on the matter came from this link: http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-experience-of-being-in-a-psychiatric-hospital-like - which is someone recounting their story of being in a psychiatric hospital. I based the story on their routines, hospital and thoughts.
> 
> If I have got anything wrong PLEASE TELL ME. I don't want to spread around false information. But if you're going to tell me what I've got wrong, you also HAVE to tell me what the correct answer is, so I can replace it. Thank you.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: There are some mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression and murder, but I've sort of strayed away from that a bit.
> 
> Otherwise, please enjoy.

Monty remembered the day he took Jasper to the hospital vividly. There wasn’t much to say other than ‘you’ll be okay’ and ‘it’ll all be fine’ and ‘please, Jasper, please’. But apparently it had done the trick all the same. Monty had taken him to the Emergency Room, and stood with him when he stumbled out his words over being suicidal and filled in the form for him. He held his hand during triage, his best damn friend, crying and afraid.

“And why are you here today?” The nurse at the station had asked, even though she’d looked over his form.

“Because… I’m, I’m sui-suicidal, and I think I’m going to harm myself, and, and others.” He locked his jaw as he turned away, he couldn’t look at Monty nor the stranger in front of him. Monty heard him mutter that he’s afraid, and that was all the nurse needed before her eyes softened and she asked him to take a seat.

The lady in triage agreed that he was in bad shape, and gave him a bed in the hall, telling them that she’d send a request for a bed in a ward, but it could be some time. Monty had nodded and sat on the edge of the bed as Jasper curled up on it. He knew why they were waiting there; once the nurse had found Jasper to be potentially suicidal, it was their responsibility if he killed himself. But Monty gritted his teeth and wouldn’t let those thoughts enter.

Jasper was a survivor, damn it. He was going to be okay.

It was a couple of hours later when they were brought through, and Jasper was ushered into a bathroom to get changed into the hospital gown and give a urine sample. All the while, Monty waited outside, talking to the door. The doctor had given him an odd look, but Monty knew his best friend and he knew that Jasper didn’t like the silence; he liked being talked to, to have some words to focus on. So Monty told him about his day before he came back to the flat and found his best friend crying, and he described the campus he walked through even though they both saw it every day.

When Jasper was asked if he wanted to be treated at this hospital, he had shook his head and said the one in the next town over, in Ark. The two of them were going to university in Polis, but Ark was where they’re grown up. They were taken by ambulance to Ark and although they had said that Monty wasn’t advised to stay with him the entire time, Jasper gripped his best friend’s hand and said he didn’t want to go without him.

They walked fast in the hospitals, through lots of doors with mechanical locks, and Monty could see Jasper’s frightened expression when he saw them. Monty just clutched his hand tighter and kept walking. The things that came along next were a blur; waiting outside while med techs and nurses spoke to him, Jasper signed a lot of forms himself and was given new clothes to wear and his old Unity Day t-shirt back. He was then taken to his room and Monty pushed the thought away.

Now he was walking up the steps to Jasper’s floor. He’d only been in the mental health unit for a couple of weeks, but his best friend was going stir-crazy, he knew. While Jasper’s entire day was structured, on a specific day of the week he would get to go to the library or play ping pong. He was allowed to have visitors, but not often if he wasn't feeling up to it, and Monty took every opportunity he could manage. It was six o clock when he sat down at a table in the cafeteria, waiting for Jasper to arrive.

Jasper’s face was still pale and sullen, but spotting Monty put a smile on his face. They embraced tightly and Monty would’ve traded everything in the world to make his best friend happy again. The sat close to each other, and Jasper asked Monty about his day, before doing the same in return.

“We have greenhouse therapy today,” Jasper smiled. “I think it’s my favourite type.”

“Yeah?” His friend nodded.

“It reminded me of when your parents had their greenhouse and we’d go in, pretending it was a jungle.” Monty laughed at the memory of their childhood. “And remember when we started growing our own, a couple years ago?” He nodded.

“I think that was illegal,” Monty grinned.

“Of course it was illegal,” Jasper replied. “It was pot. We’re not allowed to grow pot – are you still selling it?” Monty shrugged with a nod.

“Don’t worry, only to friends and family.” Jasper nodded.

“What are you doing with the money?” He shrugged.

“Keeping it in a jar so we can go on holiday some time,” he replied. “I hear there’s this really cool theme park in TonDC, and if we get enough money we can have the car fixed and road trip it.” Jasper smiled; it wasn’t like the smiles he used to have, where his eyes lit up and his entire face seemed to seep happiness. Monty missed those smiles like nobody’s business.

“Sounds fun,” Jasper agreed. “Just the two of us?” Monty nodded.

“If you want. I told Octavia about it, though, because she asked what the money jar was for, and she said that it was a great idea.” They lapsed into silence for a moment. “Did you complete your goal today?” Every day, in the morning, Jasper would have a therapy session in which he was to announce what his goal was for that day. In the evening, he would be asked if he completed it. Jasper nodded.

“My goal was to be well enough to see you this evening,” Jasper replied. “And look, here I am.” The two nodded, smiling and Monty’s heart ached for his friend. He had been told, right at the beginning, that Jasper had depression and PTSD – which was understandable. Monty thought he was just sad, at the beginning, a while ago when Jasper’s mood deteriorated and he became sluggish in everything he did. He thought it was because of the death of his girlfriend, and Monty had agreed that his mourning was valid. Only, it went on for months, and Jasper stopped eating and sleeping, or he would only eat and sleep, and Monty wasn’t sure when he had taken a shower last.

Jasper had been there went she was killed; a gunman in an alley, holding them both up. He hadn’t walked along dark streets afterwards, and his smiles had become more and more rare. When Monty had come home to find him balling on the sofa, clawing at his arms, he knew that it wasn’t just mourning – so he helped him up and pulled him onto a bus that took them to the hospital.

“And how’s Murphy?” Murphy was Jasper’s roommate. He was irritable and angry most of the time; and was in there because of an addiction (what, Monty didn’t know) and depression. Jasper and Murphy didn’t get along too well – but Murphy had been there for a while, and he knew the routine by heart. He also knew how much the med techs were watching them, and explained to Jasper about how they did a check every fifteen minutes, twenty four hours a day, to make sure everyone was accounted for.

“As good as he gets,” Jasper replied with a shrug. Monty glanced around the room, at the other friends and family sitting with their loved ones. Murphy wasn’t in sight.

“Has he ever had a visitor?” Monty asked. Jasper shrugged.

“I think he had one once at the beginning, but I haven’t seen him go to one of these things. He rarely turns up for group therapy either.” Monty sighed, wishing the best for Jasper’s roommate – he’d heard his best friend’s stories about the place. It wasn’t bad there, but it was boring and repetitive, and he’d heard that Murphy was like a caged animal, plodding around in circles all day.

“And have you been colouring?” Jasper nodded. Monty thought it was only in the films that people actually coloured, but apparently not. Jasper had told him in the first visitation that he was colouring; that it felt therapeutic and he enjoyed doing it.

“I’ll be as good as Clarke by the time I get out,” Jasper smiled half-heartedly. Monty smiled in response, learning over and clutching his friend’s hand.

“You can have a competition.”

“What does the winner get?”

“My love and adoration?” Jasper snorted.

“Already have that.” Monty rolled his eyes.

“Fine. The winner can have the good seat on movie night.” Jasper paused before nodding, thinking over the weekly fight to get the comfortable end of the sofa at Bellamy’s place. They lapsed into silence, their hands joined and Monty searched his friend’s face for a moment.

“You are getting better, right?” He asked quietly. Jasper swallowed before nodding, just a little bit.

“I think so.”


End file.
